Home, cold home
Holy Winter!!! Nothing brings you back to reality like frozen, wet toes. Ugh. We got home last night to a very snowy town!
We had a very nice week, weather-wise. Warm, often sunny. Otherwise, it was no vacation! We shared a tiny 2-bedroom, 1 bath condo with 4 other people. And we slept on a pull-out couch in the living area, so whenever anyone got up to use the bathroom, we woke up. We couldn’t get up when we wanted or even go to bed when we wanted. The loner in me was going CRA-ZAY. We had fun, don’t get me wrong, but I’m more tired now than when we left. And I’m starting a cold. My plans for today are PJ’s, couch and fluids.
Our dog seemed to enjoy his stay at the kennel very much, which was a huge relief. We are definitely going to send him there again if needed. He’s exhausted and has even lost a few of his extra pounds! P and I missed him terribly. We talked about him all week and we were so excited to go pick him up last night!
Cycle-wise, up until yesterday, I was thinking it could have been possible to get a BFP. But today, my hopes are pretty low. I had tender boobs from 6 DPO up until 11 DPO (yesterday), but now everything is back to normal. I’m not spotting yet and don’t have much cramping, though. I’m completely exhausted, and a little queasy, but that can very well be attributed to a crazy, sleepless and booze-filled week in Florida.
I must say I’m pretty bummed out. I really wanted this cycle to work. I really want to be pregnant again. I’m not even scared of a BFP anymore! I really want to have a baby in 2013 and now my chances are getting slimmer and slimmer. I know I shouldn’t pressure myself with time, but I’ve been in this TTC game for almost 3 years now. 2 years ago, I was about to find out I was pregnant for the first time. TWO YEARS!!! I know I’m rambling and that I have written about that fact more times than necessary, but I just can’t get over it.
That was my first thought on January 1st. Another year gone by without my take-home baby. I thought I would become a mother in 2011. Then, I was sure it was going to happen in 2012, with a fantastic new doctor and all. Didn’t happen. 2013? Time is ticking. How can I let go of that? How can I just be zen about it? Any tips?